


not all tears are an evil

by lavenderlotion



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 12:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20546060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: “Peter, buddy, we found him.”





	not all tears are an evil

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: _“Married peter/ned (so around 24 yrs old?), with NED being presumed dead (most or all of the fics have peter injured but never Ned which really? He's a soft human) so basically angst angst angst maybe the world almost ended and lots of buildings destroyed (including their apartment) and/or the last time someone saw Ned was before tragedy happened idk i'm not really creative. But basically for a few days (or lots of hours) Peter thinks his husband is dead and he can't process/can't deal with the grief. Happy ending tho cause Ned was somewhere or just injured enough he couldn't contact him. Plus Tony/May being his support and maybe finding Ned in a hospital or whatever”_

His hands are shaking. He can’t get them to stop. Tony and May have made sure he keeps his sugars up, filling him with fruit and water every few hours. Peter eats and drinks whatever they give him, too numb to protest. He’s—he’s too numb for anything. He tucks his hands deeper into the too-long sleeves of the hoodie he’s wearing, nosing at the collar and taking a deep breath of the familiar scent. 

The last time he’d caught the gleam of metal on his left hand, he’d had a panic attack. 

The monitor in front of him plays the same footage over again. Peter doesn’t notice anything new. He’s been watching the apartment's security feed for...Peter isn’t very good with time right now, but his eyes sting every time he closes them to blink. Probably a while, then. His eyes flick to the other monitor when the video of his building exploding restarts again.

Nothing. There’s  _ nothing there.  _ No one leaves the building for the entire hour before the explosions begin, and no one leaves right before it’s hit and crumples into a pile of useless debris. Ned was at home, studying for a final he had coming up and begging off from the lunch date Peter had asked him on. Peter was only out because his internship with Tony had become official a few years ago, and he had to put in hours when he could. 

They had been in the workshop, him and Tony, when the alarms had sounded. Peter wonders if he’ll ever be absolved of the guilt he feels for not being there, for not being in the apartment, for not being able to protect him when he needed him. 

He doesn’t think so. Peter,  _ Spider-Man, _ has failed before but...never like this. He’s never lost the one that means the most to him, more than Tony and May and his whole existence as Spider-Man. May’s worried about him even if she doesn’t say it. She hasn’t left him alone yet, not since they all got the threat under control and Peter had swung back to his apartment only to find it  _ gone. _

The next breath he takes shudders through him, but he doesn’t cry. Not after the night he spent sobbing into sheets that didn’t smell right in a bed that was too big and too empty. It hurts, everywhere, a crushing weight over his heart that feels like it’s going to swallow him whole until he’s nothing but grief and despair and longing. 

He deserves it, he thinks idly. He should have been there. He should have gone home for lunch instead of grabbing something with Tony when Ned said he was going to stay in. In his vows, he had promised to protect him  _ till death do they part, _ but he never would have thought...

Fuck, they’re only twenty-four. 

Peter takes another deep breath and wonders when he’ll stop. It doesn’t feel right for him to be sitting there, heart pumping and lungs filling with oxygen when the only reason he has for waking up every morning is gone. 

_ “Peter?”  _ Tony’s voice cackles through the comm that is still tucked into Peter’s ear. He hums something in answer, watching the third screen that shows the alleyway behind his apartment as it gets filled with chunks of concrete and broken glass: the remains of his home.  _ “Peter, buddy, we found him.” _

“You...you did?” his voice cracks. The words seem far away, distorted. Peter can barely make sense of them. 

_ “Yeah, Pete, and he’s alive we’re—”  _ The rest is white noise that doesn’t matter as a sob bubbles out of his chest, a loud, broken noise that tears through his throat. May is there in an instant, hurrying into the room and tucking Peter to her chest, and she takes the comm out of his ear while Peter babbles something that doesn’t make much sense. He doesn’t try to listen to what she says, focusing on the familiar smell of her and the strong arm holding him close. 

When she pulls away, Peter looks at her through eyes blurred with tears, gasping for breath as his chest splits back open wide enough to fit an entire lifetime worth of love he thought he’d lost. 

“Peter, baby, they found Ned and he’s alive,” May tells him, hands holding his cheeks and staring into his eyes and Peter breaks down, another cry scratching out of his throat as he gives up and his body slumps forward into May’s arms. Peter doesn’t know anything but the crushing elation in his chest, and three simple words rolling over and over in his mind as he clutches to the only family he had for so long until he got down on one knee and asked for more. 

_ They found Ned. _


End file.
